in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she peed on how many people?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
