google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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