So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I came so hard my ears popped.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
