I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
