I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
