Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
