I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
