did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
