I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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