he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
