OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yo dont text me then not text me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
