ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
