I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
