Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
