So drunk its hurt
look no pants
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
