I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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