I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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