I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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