I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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