My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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