just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
