he puts the penis in happiness.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
