I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
