we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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