No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
