Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
