your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
