Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
