did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
