one two three fourrrrnication!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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