yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
