shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's blow job season.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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