do herpes really smell.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
