OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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