how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
