i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
