Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
