Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
