You really coming over, don't trick.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
