...so i touched it.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
