let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
