There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
