trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
