shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm both gender and math confused
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
