then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
