3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
