So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
