Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
