If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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