farters have to be the big spoon...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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