I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
