Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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