I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
