With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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